


Street Party

by Sandpipersummer



Category: The Charioteer - Renault
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-23
Updated: 2009-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-05 02:47:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandpipersummer/pseuds/Sandpipersummer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five years on, Andrew and Laurie meet up after VE Day</p>
            </blockquote>





	Street Party

'Hello.'

Laurie heard himself reply, as if he were standing to one side, looking at himself and Andrew as a stranger might. Andrew hadn't changed; the hopeful and earnest look in his eyes the same today as it had been five years ago. And yet there was something less young and innocent about him that Laurie felt he might want to ignore, but couldn't, because this was Andrew who was likely to be as forthright and honest as he had ever been. Laurie had an uneasy feeling that this older Andrew was about to shatter any illusions about the retention of purity and innocence that Laurie had been determined to attribute to the man when he was younger.

'Quite a crowd.'

'Yes,' Laurie replied. He realised his thoughts had taken up no more than a second or two of real time, though they felt as if an eternity separated them from the reality that was the here and now.

'I hope it doesn't get too rowdy, what with the troops that have come back and everything.'

'Yes,' Laurie repeated, feeling somewhat inept at responding thus far. He shouldn't be too shocked at seeing Andrew here. London might be a city, but at times he felt it could be just another small town made large. Besides, hadn't he chosen this particular route because it would take them through the streets he had walked when intending to see Andrew that last time. There was someone missing this time, though. He looked round, expecting to see the older man hovering close by somewhere.

'Where's Dave?'

'Oh.' A shadow of unease passed over Andrew's face. 'I think he's getting some food.' He paused. 'He's not very pleased with me at the moment.' Andrew moved a little closer to Laurie, scrutinising his face, and it seemed to Laurie, debating with himself as to whether to go any further with what he had to say. 'When we knew each other before,' he went on, 'I always felt that I could talk to you about anything.'

'You still can.' Laurie wondered what Andrew was going to say, several pronouncements of Ralph's garnering solidity in his mind, which he was unsuccessfully trying to ignore.

'No. I don't think that's true.' Andrew spoke with the same brutal honesty he had always done. 'I've been thinking about this. What would we say if we met? Would things still be the same? And of course they're not, they could never be. You're with your friend, Ralph, and that makes one kind of difference. And that man Bunny--'

'He's not around any more.'

'Good. I don't think he was a very nice person.'

'He wasn't.'

Andrew didn't respond to this, instead he took a breath, ignoring the subject of Dave still, and continued what he had been saying about their own relationship. 'It's no use trying to pretend nothing is different between you and I. The fact is that what I realised about myself back then has changed things somewhat. I was in love with you, I know that. And not the kind of love that merits a smile and a handshake when one meets. But you know all this of course, that was what you were trying to keep from me.'

'I was only--'

'It's all right. I know you were doing it was because you loved me too.'

The matter of fact way Andrew was speaking about the past was almost too cruel. Laurie wished Ralph would come over and break up the conversation before he was told anything he didn't want to hear.

'Yes,' he said, rather inadequately, and waited.

'I'd better get to the point, hadn't I? Dave is annoyed with me because I haven't taken his advice. I've met someone, you see, and he, Dave that is, feels I've given into temptation when I should be choosing a better way. He believes that it is a test of character and that it shows weakness to acquiesce, so to speak. I did once think that, too, back then, but I've worked it out for myself now. You see, God wants love for us and it's our duty to accept that love, in whatever form He has chosen. Forcing oneself to deny it won't make a man stronger, it only detracts from the important things.'

In long narratives spoken as they lay in front of the fire, Laurie sprawled on the hearthrug, Ralph stretched out on one of the easy chairs, there had been wild stories of explorers thrashing through great swathes of jungle to reach hopeful clearings where there might be a water hole, or the trickle of a stream. Laurie now felt he knew what they had experienced, his own thoughts so confused and entangled, he barely wanted to take in what Andrew was saying.

'Is he a Friend?' he managed, grasping this at least; Andrew could hardly be with someone who hadn't fought his own battles as to the rightness or otherwise of being a certain way.

Andrew's smile was almost exalted. 'Yes, he is. Of course you would see that; he couldn't be anything else I don't think. And you understand about Dave, I expect, too.'

'Yes, yes I do.' There seemed nothing much else to say. Ralph had been right; one couldn't force a person into ignoring who they were from a misguided sense of duty. Now they had both experienced the fall out from that particular course of action. 'As long as you're happy,' he went on, aware that he was dragging up pat phrases used when he was having difficulties facing up to his own inadequacies. He held himself upright, determined not to fall at this hurdle, thrust across his path when he was least expecting it.

'I am happy for you,' he said with feeling. 'And I'm sorry to have kept it from you, I thought I was doing some good, only I know now that I wasn't.'

'Oh, there's no need to worry about that, even if you had said something, or done more than kiss me a little, I would still have had to work it all out for myself.'

Andrew was being too kind, he thought. Or perhaps this kindness was only a result of his deep-rooted desire for integrity above all else, and serendipity had resulted in it becoming a balm for Laurie's conscience. They smiled and each offered a hand to the other, held too long for friendship, but just right for memories and forgiveness and the knowledge of first love that would remain between them always.

'I must get back to Dave, I do believe he might sulk a little if I stay away too long.' He smiled again. 'Goodbye then, Laurie, enjoy the party and give my best wishes to Ralph.'

'I will, good luck.'

Then Andrew was gone, across the street, smiling at Dave who was frowning at some of the cooked food that had appeared on a trestle table. Laurie's last sight of them before returning to Ralph was of Andrew taking a piece of what looked vaguely like Christmas cake and breaking it into pieces before offering some to Dave. Laurie turned away and, catching Ralph's eye from a table further down the street, smiled, returning gladly to the world of his own life and love.


End file.
